Cristiano Ronaldo's Loveliest Girlfriends

Ronaldo’s Loveliest Girlfriends

For those who didn’t know, Cristiano Ronaldo (full name Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro) was named after the evil American politician/actor Ronald Reagan, which, as people to be named after goes, is only a few back from calling your child Adolf, Judas, or Jack the Ripper.

All of that aside, Ronaldo’s had a great couple of days—voted footballer of the year, wore a leather jacket—so to celebrate, we thought we’d have a dreamy look back on some of the more beautiful women he’s had sex with since he moved to Manchester. For probably legal/financial reasons, I haven’t included the many prostitutes.

Merche Romero

Merche (possibly pronounced “mirsh”) played the part of a Mrs. Robinson character in Ronaldo’s life, being practically an old biddy at 31 years old. A TV presenter in Portugal, when word got out that she’d been snogging Ronaldo, scores of angry young fans started threatening to kill her. They soon split up.

Gemma Atkinson

If you don’t happen to own a television, you might never have seen Gemma—she was the man-voiced female star of Hollyoaks, who went on to become the totally mute glamour model wandering silently around the I’m A Celebrity jungle. She was once proudly Ronaldo’s female resting place.

Karina Ferro

Very little is known about Karina here, except that she’s a lucky Portuguese model who once had the pleasure of standing in front of her family and friends and declaring herself Cristiano’s woman—shortly before he left her.

Mia Judaken

Only a few short weeks ago, it seemed that the dazzling lover/winger might have calmed down and settled into the kind arms of family friend, Mia—a girl who would happily flit between her It Girl lifestyle in Bel Air and the leather sheets of Ronaldo’s impressive boudoir. But before everyone knew it, he’d jacked her in.

Nereida Gallardo

And to his ex-lover—the curvaceous model/human Nereida. When she’s not on beaches modeling her bosoms, the 25-year-old does normal things like eating, laughing, and sometimes talking. The pair are rumored to bloody love each other a lot.